Three years of study has left a few memories - here are the worst of them:

Always keep on top of the washing up.

If not, stuff as much food into a baguette as possible and do without a plate.

Ditto, always empty the bin.

Or refuse will spread to the sitting room...

When on a budget, try curing your own meat. Not in your own room though.

If you cure meat in someone else's room, do not expect favours in return.

Other people's eggs are golfballs.

5o (Fiddy) Cent must be mocked.

Expect to be inundated at Christmas.